Sounds like you're reading from a script - there are some strange pauses that sound like "being distracted by reading from script" heh.
In the first part of the audio ("getting the sensor rigged up"), you don't sound as if you've just crashed landed. More like a Sunday afternoon working on a hobby in the garage.
In terms of quality, there's white noise that's particularly noticeable in between words. Maybe use a vogad and then apply crackle afterwards?
But other than that, waaaaaaaay better than I was expecting!! I'm mighty impressed overall!!
How did you get the crackle and "chh-blip" effects? Really awesome! Also, the voice sounds perfect for the game, if it's your voice you just got yourself recruited as the male computer voice
The clip right at the end is particularly full of AWESOME WIN! I could so make use of that on my hovercraft training video!
Oh, and please upload more audio!!
"Dedicated to discovering Warzone artefacts, and sharing them freely for the benefit of the community."
-- https://warzone.atlassian.net/wiki/display/GO