I'm posting this here because I don't want to give more work to the admins - splitting posts and stuff. It went off-topic and it'd be obvious if some recent turn of events had already happened - at this point, I wouldn't even care about letting put my personal critics.Dylan Hsu wrote:Nobody asked you to be a parent or a therapist.Olrox wrote: Then suggest that and ask nicely, perhaps? It doesn't hurt anybody. Try wearing different hats sometimes, it's a learning/growing experience all the way around
What I want to say is that I offer my personal critics to anyone that, IMO, could improve a great deal. That's because I like this kind of critics for myself and I have a "built-in" leadrship instinct: I tend to try getting the best out of the people around me, even though I'm not a friend of theirs (I could not happen to be a father to them because I don't have any sons, yet).
Those personal critics, however, extend to the point where the one I'm trying to help closes the doors to any help, what is, IMO, what keeps people from growing mentally. To promote this kind of growth I've last mentioned, we all have to open our minds and thing about ourselves, in a wide range of ways that is almost identical to the Six Hats thinking. IMHO, to promote a true mental growth:
We've got to analyse ourselves, all the way around, trying to notice everything, without judging anything else but "Is that inherent to myself?".
We've got to analyse how to we feel about it. That one is instinctive and can't be truly explained - it's just feelings, purely.
We've got to think about what's bad about ourselves. What do I think it's getting on my way? What do I think it's getting on other people's ways? What can I Change and what I can not?
We've got to think about what's good about us, and keep thinking about that, never "forgetting about it because it's already good", because we can accidentally loose some good characteristics of ourselves due to external influences, internal reflections, or whatever.
Then, we've got to think about how can we change what we want to - by this time, we should already know, because we know what are our characteristics, we know how we feel about them, we know what we don't like about them, and we know which ones we like. Almost everything inside the humans brain can change, unless it's caused by mental disease, I think. It varies from "automatic" to "nearly impossible". Then, it's actually more about "what do I want to change?". There is the need to decide how we're going to change it, and in which way - what we like about ourselves needs to be intensified or at least mantained, and what we don't like needs to be reduced or even reverted - there is always a way of growing.
Lastly, we need to reflect about the whole proccess. Why is that important, what are the goals, was I sincere with my thoughts? Are my points really justified? Why do I want to improve? This last proccess is fundamental unless we want to waste time, because it's what fixates the whole line of thinking and makes us really understand what it's all about.
Now, why did I write all that, even if I know that Dylan isn't going to change with my words? I didn't write it "for Dylan", it is here for anyone who wants to know about it, and know why I'm always "so serious" about personality and mentality. It is a natural thing about me, and I feel good about it, I like it, and want to keep that for my whole life because I've already managed to make people better because of it, and I wouldn't be the way I am without such self-critics.
But it makes me sad when someone simply shuts the door to improvement just because they think they're already good like they are, and it's no one's duty to tell them what to do. Because that's a distortion about the whole thing: I don't want people to do what I want, simply like that. I want people to do what they sincerely think it's better, regardless of my own opinion. If that matches my own opinion, it's a great thing because it confirms that we are thinking rationally. If not, it's another opportunity to re-think about why such differences exist, and growing up more...
Sadly, I can expect one kind of answer from Dylan, which is "tl;dr". Bias? No, that's conclusions from the past. I'm not trying to flame Dylan, I'm trying to justify my own words here. And all those things I've said, including the limited-mindset behavior of closing the doors to improvements is obviously not exclusive to Dylan - Many people in our community think about that.
But gladly, many people don't - in those I deposit my hope that we'll have a better forum everyday, and careful, "out-of-the-box" opinions will always be available.
For lasy, but not least, I apologize if I've offended anyone with my way of thinking - and I'll probably keep apologizing because everytime I think if I should keep being like that, I reach the conclusion that it's better, even if I get a bad picture for myself, because this has been proven to be a true way of growing mentally and multiplying one's qualities, and I've already seen many people come out completely changed, all-better in countless ways, after going through this (often painful) proccess.
I do hope that everyone still knows that my own intentions are always aimed towards the best for the whole community - I don't think I've still got to prove that...
~Olrox
