Random jokes

[Roux Le Corps]

Marines....
they eat French people

[franek12354]

omg is discrimination of freanch nationality

this is tank of scavenders because is got advaced tech weapon

[JDW]

omg is discrimination of freanch nationality

this is tank of scavenders because is got advaced tech weapon
http://bodzio650.wrzuta.pl/sr/f/4shfgQ6o71h/mini_czolg

For some reason, my ISP has blocked that site, so I can't view the picture.

[Roux Le Corps]

its a mini with a machine gun on top ;3 i want

[JDW]

- Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.

- A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication.

- Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!

- Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.

- Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.

- When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten. Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.

- Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible.

[JDW]

- The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; ...it can just barely kill you. (Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)

- A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum. (Jon McBride, astronaut)

- Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

- If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.

- You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.

- Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

[franek12354]

this is it

[JDW]

OMG, that must be the coziest Super Heavy Tank ever

[JDW]

Save water, shower with a Marine.

Heaven won't take us and Hell's afraid we'll take over.

USMC (United States Marine Corps): When it absolutely, positively must be destroyed overnight.

When in doubt, empty the magazine.

To err is human, to forgive is divine, however neither is Marine Corps policy.

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.

There are two types of people: Marines, and those that wish they were.

All men are created equal, then some become Marines.

It's not an attitude problem, we are that good.

Sergeants think their only flaw is their excessive modesty.

Except for ending slavery, Fascism, Nazism, and Communism, war has never solved anything."

[franek12354]

but yeah if you not get it you will chance into your avatar

[JDW]

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

5. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

22. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

23. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

[JDW]

HAPPINESS IS . . .

Infantry: A good rifle

Armoured: A big tank

Artillery: A loud boom

UPON HEARING FIREWORKS

Infantry: Cool, just like a live fire excercise

Armoured: Not loud enough

Artillery: Fireworks? What fireworks?

OTHER TRADES

Infantry: Waste of rations

Armoured: Waste of rations

Artillery: Waste of rations

IDEA OF FUN

Infantry: Not having to “pepper-pot” an entire grid square before the objective

Armoured: Racing across a grid square on “full stab”

Artillery: Levelling a grid square

FAVOURITE SONG

Infantry: “Ballad of the Green Beret”

Armoured: “Purple Haze”

Artillery: Anything, just play it LOUD!

BIGGEST LUXURY IN THE FIELD

Infantry: Engineers blowing trenches for them with C4

Armoured: Grunts to dig their trenches for them

Artillery: Cable

A LONG ROUTE MARCH WITH FULL KIT

Infantry: 20 clicks

Armoured: From the hangars to the tank

Artillery: What’s a route march?

OFFICERS

Infantry: Are morons and should stay away from the trenchlines

Armoured: Are morons and should stay out of the vehicles

Artillery: Are morons and should stay away from the gun lines

FAVOURITE MODE OF TRANSPORTATION

Infantry: Anything but walking

Armoured: Tanks. Tanks. Tanks. TankstankstankstanksTANKS!

Artillery: Don’t you have to move around to require transport?

BIGGEST BITCH IN THE FIELD

Infantry: The weather

Armoured: Coffee maker in tank not working

Artillery: Only having basic cable

BREAKFAST IN THE FIELD

Infantry: I don’t care what it is, just so long as I can sit down to eat it

Armoured: Hot coffee and rum with a beer chaser

Artillery: Eggs over easy, crispy bacon, sausages, toast and Tim Horton’s coffee

WHAT THEY CALL THEMSELVES

Infantry: Death Techs

Armoured: Cavalry

Artillery: 10 Mile Snipers

WHAT OTHERS CALL THEM

Infantry: Grunts

Armoured: Zipperheads

Artillery: Drop shorts

[Roux Le Corps]

im a zipper head ^_^

[JDW]

Watch Aerotoon - VTOL Contest
Watch Aerotoon - Unsporting

[Collective Leader]

Three guys are crewing a Dragon on tracks with a Gauss cannon in back and a rail gun in front pwning scavengers left and right under the guidance of a satellite uplink center when one gunner says to the other, "When do you think we'll actually ATTACK our the enemy faction on the map?"

"Dunno really," replies the other, "but I think I'm running out of rails."

The driver looks up to the two gunners and then yells into the radio, "There's NEXUS cyborgs in my tank!"