Random jokes

[JDW]

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.

"You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."

"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."

The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

"How'd you sleep?" asked the manager.

"Never better," replied the Marine.

The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?"

"Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Marine.

"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

[Roux Le Corps]

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

lol that marine is smart ^_^

[JDW]

One day a sergeant of long service standing was trying to teach a bunch of raw recruits how to handle the rifle. The rookies were firing hither and yon and finally one of them shot the serge in the seat of his breeches.

“You dumb, censored, son ofcensored, censored, censored,” screamed the serge.

A second lieutenant who was with the group cautioned, “Remember, serge, you’re in the New Army. No profanities.”

The sergeant apologized to the officer and turned back to the recruit. “My goodness gracious,” he said, “What on earth was your motivation in shooting me with unwarranted expenditure of valuable ammunition?”

[lav_coyote25]

i dont think so... sargents i know would have ripped you a new one and then swear at ya. then expect you to clean up the blood and guts. go Canadian Armed Forces Seargents.!!!!! the best of the best of the best.

[Assault Gunner]

Nothing next to old-fashioned Marine DIs.

[JDW]

An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank.

The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out.

When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded: "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I'm stationed in Greenland, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?"

[JDW]

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling
insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch.

Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has
to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000.

Now," he concluded, "which group do you think they are going to send into battle first?"

[Roux Le Corps]

hahaha, yup, i'd get insurance ^_^

[Roux Le Corps]

Pfft, he aint no nerd, HE was smart enough to bring Warzone!

[JDW]

<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops

[Roux Le Corps]

xD

[JDW]

<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

[Roux Le Corps]

sounds like a me moment ^_^

[lav_coyote25]

sounds like a me moment ^_^

definitely a you moment!!!

[Roux Le Corps]

oh gee why thank you. please mr. fantastic fox, may i have another?