Corrupt-A-Wish

[bendib]

Wish granted! All pizzas are delivered by giant dragonflies, and covered in dragonfly drool...

I wish for a root shell to the universe.

[Lord Apocalypse]

granted!

Sadly, the universe it all out of root shells so you have to make do with a turtle shell.

I wish I was the first test pilot for NASA's eventual prototype warp ship!

[bendib]

Wish granted! The project is defunded by Congress.

I wish my kernel would hibernate properly.

[endlessnumber]

Granted, but then it gains 100 pounds over the winter.
I wish I had someone to love me

[bendib]

Wish granted! You get a 900LB girlfriend with a superiority complex.

I wish for never ending, unlimited persistence.

[E-102 Gamma]

I wish for never ending, unlimited persistence.

Wish granted!

You get a stop sign, autographed and personally delivered by Jack Black himself! Here you go:



I wish for a jetpack that runs on mashed bananas.

[Lord Apocalypse]

Denied by order of the grand gorilla council!

I wish for.... NULL

[bendib]

Wish granted! You receive (void*)0.

I wish I was me again.

[AWarZoner]

Wish granted you are: "me " but unfortunately also "myself".

I wish to see this:
HD "high definition" ingame.

[Jorzi]

Wish granted, see attached picture

I wish for seriously huge chainsaws (I can't see how this one could possibly go wrong)

[E-102 Gamma]

I wish for seriously huge chainsaws (I can't see how this one could possibly go wrong)

Wish granted!

You get a seriously huge swarm of small, flying, sentient, flaming diamond-tipped chainsaws!

When you command them to chop down a tree for you, they chop the tree down, chop the trunk of the tree into firewood, chop the firewood into sawdust, set the sawdust on fire, and then slash and burn all of the leaves/needles/pine cones/whatever else is left of the tree as well. They're quite useful for when you want to annihilate an entire forest given only a few days to work with.

I wish for a saber staff.

(Like this.)

[Lord Apocalypse]

Wish granted!

Sadly, when you turn it on your are vaporized due to the extreme heat from a busted plasma containment vessel. Didn't you check the recall boards first?!?!?!

I wish for a swimming pool of mountain dew

[bendib]

Wish granted! You receive a mountain dew filled with ground up swimming pool sand.

I wish for:

Code: Select all

typedef char int8;

struct manKind
{
    int8 Continents[7];
    short Nations[200];
    unsigned long DerpLevel;
    int8 DerpEverywhere : 1;
} Humans;

InitContinents(Humans.Continents);
InitNations(Humans.Nations);
DerpLevel = 9001; /*Over 9000!!!*/
DerpEverywhere = 1;
StartDerp(&Humans);

[AWarZoner]

You make me feel:

Andrie

[E-102 Gamma]

I wish for:

Code: Select all

typedef char int8;

struct manKind
{
    int8 Continents[7];
    short Nations[200];
    unsigned long DerpLevel;
    int8 DerpEverywhere : 1;
} Humans;

InitContinents(Humans.Continents);
InitNations(Humans.Nations);
DerpLevel = 9001; /*Over 9000!!!*/
DerpEverywhere = 1;
StartDerp(&Humans);

Wish granted! Derp is now everywhere! In ever continent, all over every nation! People paint their houses with it! People season their hamburgers with it! And all of the derp is of a level that is over 9000!

And then we find out that derp causes cancer.

I wish for a personal wormhole generator!