Corrupt-A-Wish

[E-102 Gamma]

I wish for the spectrum to shift back to Cyan.

Wish granted!

Unfortunately, the visible spectrum kinda missed cyan when it blue-shifted. All visible light, as well as most of the low-energy waves have become ultraviolet, x-ray, and gamma radiation. All life is fried.

I wish for the world's prickliest cactus.

[bendib]

Wish granted. It is so full of sharp, nasty looking prickles, you can't see any green. It hits you in the face at 200MPH. Hooray for flying cacti!

I wish I would always do what I need to when I need to, and never procrastinate.

[E-102 Gamma]

I wish I would always do what I need to when I need to, and never procrastinate.

Wish granted!

An army of cyborgs bent on world domination captures and assimilates you. You are now without free will, so you can't procrastinate anymore.

I wish for diplomatic immunity to cyborgs bent on world domination.

[E-102 Gamma]

I wish for diplomatic immunity to cyborgs bent on world domination.

Wish granted!

Unfortunately, your diplomatic immunity to cyborgs bent on world domination does not protect you from a race of mutant sentient plants bent on enslaving humanity. You become a mindless slave under their iron-rooted rule.

I wish for an army of

man eating gerbils with chainsaws and bat wings

that will do my evil bidding!

[bendib]

Wish granted. You receive an army of gerbil eating men with hoof feet and letter openers to do your bidding.

I wish that the Warzone codebase didn't look like it was written by a dyslexic gorilla on shrooms.

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted!

It now appears to have been written by an illiterate codfish on LSD.

I wish the word "indescribable" wasn't so paradoxical.

[NoQ]

Wish granted. Now its first meaning in every dictionary is "full of pink flying elephants".

I wish for good open-source ATI drivers for linux that aren't slower or less reliable in any case than that for windows.

[bendib]

Wish granted! They are awesome and reliable.

I wish for a spine.

[AWarZoner]

I wish for a spine.

Wish granted, you have a spine that is shaped like a U.

I wish for a nice new mod!

[bendib]

Wish granted! It's a mod that makes everything on the map blow up after three seconds.

I wish that github would stop having outages.

[Rman Virgil]

.

Wish granted. Github works perfectly at all times but everything else in the universe goes to hell in hand basket.

I wish for nothing but rather to do instead, purely and simply, with gusto and hearty laughs along the way.
.

[bendib]

Wish gr� Segmentation Fault (core dumped)

I wish there was good documentation for C99.

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted! There is now excellent and comprehensive documentation of C99!

But it's written in Icelandic.

I wish for a cute, cuddly little velociraptor for a pet.

[bendib]

Wish granted! He is taken from you by the government.

I wish for a bowl of canned corn, with fake bacon bits and salt mixed in, microwaved for one minute.

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted!

You get a bowl of canned corn, which is past its due date by several decades, with fake bacon bits and fake salt mixed in, microwaved on high for one hundred and twenty minutes. Enjoy?

I wish for a portable EM field generator!