Corrupt-A-Wish

[Shadow Wolf TJC]

Granted. Here's Derpy Hooves:

Spoiler:

I wish for all those doomsayers that claim that today (December 21, 2012) is the end of the world would just chill out, stop committing suicide, and enjoy the holidays.

[aubergine]

Granted: They failed to realise that there have been several date shifts over the centuries when calendars have been changed, and the end of the world won't actually happen for a few more years...

2012 according to different calendars:

Code: Select all

Gregorian calendar	2012 (MMXII)
Ab urbe condita	2765
Armenian calendar	1461 (ԹՎ ՌՆԿԱ)
Assyrian calendar	6762
Bahá'í calendar	168–169
Bengali calendar	1419
Berber calendar	2962
British Regnal year	60 Eliz. 2 – 61 Eliz. 2
Buddhist calendar	2556
Burmese calendar	1374
Byzantine calendar	7520–7521
Chinese calendar	辛卯年十二月初八日 (4648/4708-12-8) — to — 壬辰年十一月十九日 (4649/4709-11-19)
Coptic calendar	1728–1729
Ethiopian calendar	2004–2005
Hebrew calendar	5772–5773
Hindu calendars	
 - Vikram Samvat	2068–2069
 - Shaka Samvat	1934–1935
 - Kali Yuga	5113–5114
Holocene calendar	12012
Iranian calendar	1390–1391
Islamic calendar	1433–1434
Japanese calendar	Heisei 24 (平成24年)
Juche calendar	101
Julian calendar	Gregorian minus 13 days
Korean calendar	4345
Minguo calendar	ROC 101 (民國101年)
Thai solar calendar	2555
Unix time	1325376000–1356998399

I wish that people would realise that money is nothing more than number glyphs prefixed or postfixed with a currency glyph, and that letting it dictate what happens in the world is mass Stockholm syndrome.

[bendib]

Wish granted, I am elected First Executor of the United Earth Direct Democracy and a hundred thousand years of peace and joy is brought to all mankind, as ethics are made compulsory and money is abolished in favor of state resource management. You have stronger property rights than ever before, and everyone is in the upper class, and you just order your new PC on your old one, and a government vehicle drops it off at your door while you do nothing unless you want to (unless you signed a labor commitment for a year with the unitary government)

I wish for a place to see where all core components of Linux systems are updated upstream so I can update what matters to me on my homebrew distro.

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted, I am elected First Executor of the United Earth Direct Democracy and a hundred thousand years of peace and joy is brought to all mankind, as ethics are made compulsory and money is abolished in favor of state resource management. You have stronger property rights than ever before, and everyone is in the upper class, and you just order your new PC on your old one, and a government vehicle drops it off at your door while you do nothing unless you want to (unless you signed a labor commitment for a year with the unitary government)

That sounded ridiculously marxist.

That last sentence especially bothers me. If everyone sits around doing nothing because they don't want to and don't have to do anything (which is what usually ends up happening in a socialistic environment), the economy, the government, the country, and pretty much everything else crumbles. It might sound good on paper, but in practice, it doesn't last long before it crashes and explodes in an enormous fireball of bankruptcy and hardship. Or else it just gets beaten out by capitalism.

I wish for a place to see where all core components of Linux systems are updated upstream so I can update what matters to me on my homebrew distro.

Wish granted!

A BBS is set up which allows you to view the locations of the updates for all of the core components of Linux systems!

Unfortunately, it's very cluttered and unorganized, so it takes you hours to find where the components that you require are. Not to mention it's a BBS, and nobody uses those anymore now that we have the internet.

I wish for a zero-point energy field generator!

[NoQ]

I wish for a place to see where all core components of Linux systems are updated upstream so I can update what matters to me on my homebrew distro.

By the way, https://www.archlinux.org/packages/?sort=-last_update might be pretty close to what you're looking for, since arch packages are almost vanilla and updated almost instantly after an upstream update.

[Iluvalar]

I wish for a zero-point energy field generator!

Wish granted, but you drain the energy from a dimension where a more advanced human race live because Hitler won the war. They take that as an act of war and react by spawning black holes in our universe in mass.

I wish a merry christmas to all of you.

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted!

The apocalypse has now begun, and it's literally hell on earth. Thanks a lot.

I wish for Batman-esque detective-vision goggles.

[bendib]

That sounded ridiculously marxist.

Communism works on paper but fails in practice because it's not a perfect world and people can be selfish.
This has never been tested on paper. My idea is the people own the government via the constitution as if it were property, and the legislative branch can make no decisions without a civilian and only civilian vote, while the executive branch can only be hindered by the judicial branch if actions are ruled in violation of the constitution or unethical (the courts will consider ethics as a factor).

Communism and socialism tend to destroy property rights and give everything to the government, where I propose immutable property rights. When the government gives you something from the inventory, they forfeit all control over that object, it becomes your property alone, and it can never be taken from you. As far as the crumbling of everything, an education is still going to be mandatory, of high school level, but think about it, don't you think people will get bored of watching cat videos eventually and want to expand themselves? That, my friend, comes our workforce. You aren't required to join, but when you do, you are expected to serve the government for a specific period of time, depending on your agreement. Your payment is experience, but you don't care, because most everything you want is free anyways. The only time you'll get told "no" is if you order a ridiculous amount of something that could harm the inventory for everyone else. Yes, it does contain MANY marxist elements, but where they went wrong was removing freedoms, property rights, and life choices. I believe in the right to bear arms, or tanks, or thermonuclear missiles. It's what you do with it that'll get you in trouble.

Trust me, people will need something better to do, they will want it, and there comes our workforce. The government is not only by the people and for the people and of the people, but it is owned and run by the people on a very active level. That, in combination with all other things I have mentioned, has NEVER been tested to a good extent. If it is, it will succeed.

I wish for Batman-esque detective-vision goggles.

Wish granted, but they have no straps.

I wish free software developers would test their code thoroughly (but not take too long) before releasing it, so I don't run into compiler crashes on vanilla tarballs because they didn't test their stuff.

[aubergine]

Regarding people-owned government, check out Iceland

And as for removing government ownership of stuff, you'd have to eradicate "registration" (or "regis-tration" = selling to the king/queen, often without realising you should be getting paid for it and thus ending up giving it away for free, along with all your rights). Particularly important in the case of birth registration.

[Shadow Wolf TJC]

I wish free software developers would test their code thoroughly (but not take too long) before releasing it, so I don't run into compiler crashes on vanilla tarballs because they didn't test their stuff.

Wish granted. Sadly, there are now even fewer free software developers, since they don't meet these qualifications.

I wish for everyone a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted!

The apocalypse has now begun AGAIN. Smooth.

I wish for a subterranean reindeer with a bioluminescent nose.

[Shadow Wolf TJC]

Granted. You get a meat-eating mutant reindeer that, like an angler fish, uses its bioluminescent nose to attract unsuspecting prey before chomping down on it with its oversized serrated teeth.

I wish for everyone a Merry Christmas, without there being an apocalypse.

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted!

World War III has now begun. Smooth.

I wish for a Santa Garg.

[bendib]

Wish granted, but it keeps pooping blue poo on your carpet.

I wish for an army of developers to help with a hair-brained idea of mine...

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted!

Unfortunately, one of them becomes infected by a computer virus, which immediately spreads and infects everyone else. They all call off sick indefinitely.

I wish for some really strong Oxy Clean or something.