Alright, no more bash quotes, back to good ol' Military jokes,
The chief and I were on our submarine trying in vain to hook up some fire hoses. The wrenches we had didn't fit the connections, so he resorted to banging away at the hoses to make things fit. Just then an ensign walked by.
"Chief," he yelled out, "I have a book on tools you can borrow."
"Get it!" shouted the chief. "It's got to be heavier than this wrench I'm using."
"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."
-- Ambrose Bierce
Tom was in his early 50's, retired and started a second career. However, he just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, real sharp, so the Boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, one day he called him into the office for a talk.
"Tom, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job, but you're being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know Boss, and I am working on it."
"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though, you're coming in late. I know you're retired from the Air Force. What did they say if you came in late there?"
"They said, "Good morning, General."
"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."
-- Ambrose Bierce
"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave."
"Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!"
"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."
-- Ambrose Bierce
