Corrupt-A-Wish

[bendib]

Wish granted! When you press the button, flesh eating worms blast out at your face and eat a big hole through your skull.

I wish for durr hurr huhuh wuuuh huhuuuuh dumpy heeeiniweeeeble!

[Lord Apocalypse]

Wish granted, you turn into a Dalek. EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

I wish for a cold beer and a hot chick.

[bendib]

Wish granted! You receive a burning hot beer and a cold, insensitive chick.

I wish my ISP didn't bork reverse DNS lookup.

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted! Minesweeper is now completely broken and unbeatable.

I wish for super dimension-shifting abilities and stuff. Charing head-long into border worlds not knowing what I will (and won't) find can't possibly be a bad idea!

[bendib]

Wish granted! You open a gate to your first world, which happens to be a giant sphere of Hemmorhoid creme. You are drowned in Preparation H creme.

I wish that this:
https://github.com/Subsentient/epoch/co ... 61cc64ee56
was written much better.

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted! All of that code is replaced with a single extremely well-written line of code that checks whether or not it is extremely well-written.

I wish for a really terrible space ship.

[bendib]

Wish granted! It explodes as soon as you try to take off.

I wish I had thought ahead on the runlevel system for Epoch.... CRAP....

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted! Your runlevel system for Epoch is now capable of baking doughnuts.

Unfortunately, it is also unable to stop baking doughnuts, and is capable of ordering doughnut ingredients via the internet, which it does on a constant basis to ensure that it never runs out of doughnut ingredients. Your checking account is overdrawn and you're forced to declare bankruptcy. Looks as if you didn't think ahead quite far enough.

I wish for dauntlessness.

[Mr_E]

Wish Granted... your dauntlessness gets you killed in a dramatically stupid fashion. Death by Winrar.

I wish for the power of ultimate persuasion.

...
Man I need to get on more...

[E-102 Gamma]

I wish for the power of ultimate persuasion.

Wish granted! Everyone who hears your voice is hopelessly compelled to do your evil bidding!

And then you develop a pretty nasty case of laryngitis and are unable to speak for two months.

I wish for a cuddly little pet shark.

Man I need to get on more...

Yes, you do.

[_scavfan_]

I wish for a cuddly little pet shark.

Wish Granted!
You get cuddliest little pet shark. But it is in zoo.

I wish I have better Internet connection. This one is damn slow.

[E-102 Gamma]

I wish I have better Internet connection. This one is damn slow.

Wish granted! Your internet connection is now 200 megabits per second down and 112 Mbits/s up!

And you're paying for it, too. Good luck with your several-hundred-dollar-per-month internet bill.

I wish for an awesome new 4k computer display with a a 90 Hz refresh rate and a submillisecond response time.

[Mr_E]

Wish granted! However it's so fragile that when it gets delivered the fedex guy throws it over the fence to your house and in the process breaks it.

I wish for a dish with fish.

[E-102 Gamma]

I wish for a dish with fish.

Wish granted! You get a fish with a dish. And prehensile thumbs. And a samurai sword. And a tempter hotter than a white dwarf star.

Your avatar fits your wish amazingly well, btw.

I wish for a swimming pool filled with plasma.

(Not the blood kind. That would be gross.)

[Rman Virgil]

......

I wish for a swimming pool filled with plasma.

(Not the blood kind. That would be gross.)

Wish granted but shortly after, a sudden storm rolls in over your property and a thunder bolt strikes the plasma pool creating ball lightening that circles your house twice, scorching the beautiful paint job real bad, before it proceeds to bust through your backyard fence to explode harmlessly in the adjoining city dump and adding the smell of rotten eggs to the usual stench which causes you to upchuck your peanut butter with sliced banana sandwich lunch all over the breakfast nook table which prompts you to mutter sadly: "Why do crappy things happen to good people ?"

I wish start of game Intel UAVs make it into stock WZ.
.