The derrick cap is too high.
The cost of derricks isn't being introduced because of this.
A lot of what you said there isn't true. I've stated it before, if you are hosting, show basic respect to those who join.
I'm talking about abuse of this feature.
Oh, and another thing, most successful online communities have a Code of Conduct.
Maybe not, but what I was basically just saying is that the derrick cap should be in line with the generator cap. So, depending on structure limit the derrick cap should multiply the gen limit by 4. While I sometimes implement more derricks than I need to cut off resources I don't see it as "fun" or even necessary to gameplay.
There should be a code of conduct, but what I say is don't be heavy handed in moderation or instead of fostering communities it dwindles them. It's all about the balance.
Part of the problem is the menu wording. Instead of "the host has kicked you from the game" it could say "sorry, game full, try again next time", and, with no change in behaviour a lot of unecessary irritation would be defused. A host has to host, ie, he has to balance teams and setup the game he wants to play, depending on available players. Hosts also host noob games and kick ranked players, although in older games there seem to be more experienced players than new ones, so it does go both ways.
This whole thread seems a bit storm in a teacup to me, the problem can be, mostly, solved with very minor tweaks, some of them simply semantic.