Corrupt-A-Wish

[Draco Nihil]

I wish for fire...

Wish granted. You've now spontaneously combusted into pure flames.

I wish I had a nice peaceful abandoned light house by the bay to hide myself away from human eyes.

[bendib]

Wish granted, but the door rusts shut with you inside.

I wish for sanity. Excuse me while I water the DVD player.

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted! You chase a very late rabbit down a rabbit hole and learn just how sane you really are.

I wish for a personal submersible watercraft.

[Scavanger Rockets]

Wish Granted! But the hull ruptures and you quickly drown.

I wish for a Churchill Crocodile Tank

[Shadow Wolf TJC]

Granted. You get a water tank made by some nobody named Churchill that's supposedly designed to house crocodiles. Unfortunately, the water tank has been known to fail miserably in keeping the crocodiles inside due to how fragile the glass is, so good luck.

I wish that more people were as brilliant with corrupting other wishes as I am.

[Searge-Major]

Wish granted. You become incredibly inept at wish corruption. You are forced to look on as the standards of wish corruption are brought lower and lower, and you really wish you hadn't said anything....

I wish to be twice as good at wish corruption as Shadow Wolf was.


Searge

[Jabol]

Wish granted, you're still bad at wish-corruption.

I wish to fasten my seatbelts.

[Shadow Wolf TJC]

Granted, though little do you realize that your seatbelts are faulty, so if trying to fasten them doesn't break them, then getting into a car accident surely would.

Wish granted. You become incredibly inept at wish corruption. You are forced to look on as the standards of wish corruption are brought lower and lower, and you really wish you hadn't said anything....

Let me rephrase that differently. I wish that the creative standards on which wishes were corrupted were higher than they are now.

[Searge-Major]

Wish granted, you're still bad at wish-corruption.

...

Let me rephrase that differently. I wish that the creative standards on which wishes were corrupted were higher than they are now.

A brave and noble wish, however it cannot be granted without breaking the convention on Human Rights, the Hague Convention, and all other conventions restricting mass brain-washing....

[E-102 Gamma]

I wish for some CHEMICAL X.

[Searge-Major]

Wish granted, you're still bad at wish-corruption.

...

Let me rephrase that differently. I wish that the creative standards on which wishes were corrupted were higher than they are now.

A brave and noble wish, however it cannot be granted without breaking the convention on Human Rights, the Hague Convention, and all other conventions restricting mass brain-washing....

Damn, I knew I forgot something... Sorry, I was in a big hurry.

I wish for some CHEMICAL X.

Granted, it explodes violently in your face.

I wish I had a platinum bar.

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted. You get a platinum bar!

However, the platinum bar is trillions of miles long, wide, and thick. It has a gravitational force comparable to that of a black hole. It's also right next to our solar system, sooo...

I wish for the world's most vicious, ferocious, horrifying snail.

[Searge-Major]

Wish granted, however to get you had to contact a dodgy supplier somewhere in Indonesia, (or possibly South East Asia, or even India, the enormous guy with dark glasses and a bulge in his hip pocket didn't say ), consequently the snail takes several weeks to arrive... by fishing boat. You end up with an incredibly vicious, ferocious, horrifying, seasick snail.

However, the platinum bar is trillions of miles long, wide, and thick. It has a gravitational force comparable to that of a black hole. It's also right next to our solar system, sooo...

Nice corruption dude. I was expecting the traditional "it lands on your head" scenario.

I wish for an Infinite Improbability Drive.

[Shadow Wolf TJC]

Granted, though when you use it, you turn into a person made out of yarn. (I assume that you're talking about that faster-than-light drive from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, right?)

I wish for my wish to become corrupted.

[Giani]

Wish garanted, you get no wish
I wish for a cake bigger than my house and more little than 10 houses, that doesn't fall over me.