Corrupt-A-Wish

[macuser]

Granted. Nexus hacks into it and blows up your town.

I wish for more time in the day.

[bendib]

Granted. Nexus hacks into it and blows up your town.

I wish for more time in the day.

Wish granted. There are now 24 hours and one second in every day.

I wish that I could overclock any processor to any speed without damaging it.

[ClockWork]

Wish granted, it loops to infinity, the clocking speeds reaching into an unstable dimension and rewinding it’s self backwards perpetually. Due to an infinite loop, it creates a time paradox, and you get sucked into nothingness.

I wish politicians would just shut up

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted. There are now 24 hours and one second in every day.

You actually just added three minutes and 56.9 seconds to every day.

I wish politicians would just shut up

Granted. Politicians now shut up for two minutes every day.

I wish for the world's largest garter snake.

[ClockWork]

Wish granted, every garter snake shrinks so immensely, that the largest one is only half a millimeter big.

wish my knee caps were broken by the bludgeoning of a hammer.

[E-102 Gamma]

Granted. Your shins have been broken by the beating of a baseball bat.

I wish I could solve any mathematical problem in my head instantly and easily.

[kracker]

Granted. Your shins have been broken by the beating of a baseball bat.

I wish I could solve any mathematical problem in my head instantly and easily.

Wish granted, but you couldn't do anything else in life... and so you end up solving mathematical problems without end....

I wish for.... uh.... what was I gonna say? .... Oh yes. A thing called something.

[E-102 Gamma]

Granted.

YOU GET. NOTHING. YOU LOSE.

GOOD DAY, SIR.

(Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory reference. )

I wish I could literally be in two places at once.

[bendib]

wish my knee caps were broken by the bludgeoning of a hammer.

Funny you should say that, my left kneecap was shattered and reassembled. Got a nice long scar on that knee now.

I wish that I could literally be in two places at once.

Wish granted! You become an electron, which gives you the ability of superposition.

I wish for a cat turd burrito.

[E-102 Gamma]

Granted. You get a whale carcass taco. Enjoy.

I wish for a tau cannon.

[Black Project]

I wish for a tau cannon.

I know what is a Tau Cannon (Half-Life related), but i have no frigging idea on how to corrupt it, make it something creative, neither why i'm asking this

Here goes a link to people who don't know what's a Tau Cannon, so E-102 Gamma don't have to corrupt his own (wish) later

BP

[ClockWork]

Your wish was to have people follow your link. Your wish is corrupted in that I have figured out your ploy. I will not go to the link, thus your wish is now corrupted.

I wish for a new renewable resource.

[bendib]

Wish granted. It was turds that ban you from important IRC channels without saying one word as to why.

I wish for software that could track down the exact location of an IP address, a plasmite cyborg suit, and a transport.


AHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBAHNARGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

[Black Project]

Your wish was to have people follow your link. Your wish is corrupted in that I have figured out your ploy. I will not go to the link, thus your wish is now corrupted.

Not mean to be serious/rude dude, but that wasn't even a wish, i mean the link i posted...

...but okay, i'll corrupt Gamma's wish.

I wish for a tau cannon.

Wish granted, now you got a real-life lightweight handheld Tau Cannon, but it's a top-secret, unregistered & stolen weapon that the military is looking for it right now, good luck fighting out the army grunts for you own survival

I wish for software that could track down the exact location of an IP address...

Wish granted, unfortunanely this software is for exclusive use of military/law enforcement agencies only, not for public due to national security reasons

...a plasmite cyborg suit

Granted, but it's a very slow moving suit despite it's toughness

...and a transport

Granted, but it can't transport you together with your ludicrous overweighted suit, you had no choice but go for the battlefield without it.

Good luck out there buddy

I wish i could control, change & manipulate arbitrarily any events of mankind.

BP

[bendib]

Wish granted, but you do a horrible job at it and end up being responsible for humanity's demise.

I wish this laptop wouldn't overheat.