Corrupt-A-Wish

[bendib]

Wish granted! You end up wasting your evenings on Warzone with me.

I wish I could twist the arm of Craigslist into doing something positive about the horror in the pets section with "free kittens to good home!!" ending up as snake food etc.

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted!

You take Systema for a few years and become a master of Russian martial arts and twisting arms.

And then you found out that Craigslist has no arms to twist and that your kitten-saving efforts have been in vain. You return to the drawing board to rethink your approach.

I wish for a 56-kilobyte SSD.

[bendib]

Wish granted! It's 56 kilobyte because it's defective.

I wish for a clean bowl to put my Neapolitan in.

[AWarZoner]

Wish granted! The bowl keeps itself clean so if you put your Neapolitan in it it throws out you Neapolitan and cleans itself!

I Wish That I Could Stay Clean So I Don't Have To Shower!

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted!

You are now surrounded by an impenetrable force-field that repels all mud, grass, and all besoiling particulates.

Unfortunately, it also repels all other objects and particulates and, indeed, the air around you itself. Quite a pickle you've found yourself in.

I wish for a lifetime supply of Windows 98 Second Edition.

[AWarZoner]

Wish granted! You have a lifetime supply of Windows 98 Second Edition, but it doesn't support your hardware!

I wish for a very fast and visually appealing OS.

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted!

You get Windows 98 Second Edition in a brand new, unopened box, gilded and polished, and tied to the back of a speeding cheetah. Fetch!

I wish for a swarm of intelligent and highly-skilled praying mantis underlings to do my evil bidding!

[Hesterax]

Wish granted!

Suddenly one of them mutates into a pesticide spewing arachnid and kills them instantly.

I wish for complete control of a nuclear powered (but still stable) mech with extremely long ranged kiloton weaponry.

PS: Yay!!! E-102 Gamma is back

[E-102 Gamma]

I wish for complete control of a nuclear powered (but still stable) mech with extremely long ranged kiloton weaponry.

Wish granted! You get a children's plastic tricycle with a very powerful squirt gun duct-taped on to it.

PS: Yay!!! E-102 Gamma is back

I never really left. I just didn't have anything to say. Glad to hear I was missed in my silence, though.

I wish for a copy of Windows 99.

[AWarZoner]

Wish granted! You have a copy of Windows 99 but the floppy is not compatible with you PC!

I wish for a free PC the really works!

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted!

You get a working Commodore 64 for free! And it even comes with Zork!

Speaking of Zork, I wish for a cuddly little pet grue.

[bendib]

Wish granted! It has grue fleas. They're like regular fleas but they invade your fridge and eat all your kumquats.

I wish for a house made of solid, stable, 100% pure Palladium.

[AK_ROSH]

Wish granted. You house started reflecting light far away in universe, alien saw it as threat they attack your house with fish garbage, you end up cleaning your house rest of life.

I wish all other wisher die.

[E-102 Gamma]

Wish granted! Everyone who has ever made a wish in this thread, save for yourself, is no more.

But then, one foggy night, the full moon's x-rays shone down upon the graves of us deceased wish-corrupters and, by some unholy power of darkness, resurrected us as a horde of snarling zombies.

We're coming for you.

I wish to move left.

[Hesterax]

Wish granted!

You move left... Until you have been around the world and end up on your right.

I wish for... *drum-roll* a time machine!