ClockWork wrote:A bug on wheels with a repair turret came into view of a Scavenger camp. A few blokes saw it, then WHAM! they started to brawl with one another, fists flying.
The small fight started to esilate, growing bigger as it spread inside the Scavenger base.
The people manning the towers even jumped down, takeing whatever building matirals they found lying around as a weapon, destroing the buildings in the prosses.
As they beat the snot out of each other like the drunks they were, it all came down to one Scavenger that was left standing.
He had only one thing to say:
"SLUG BUG YELLOW!"
And then, there was none.
Zarel wrote:j0shdrunk0nwar wrote:A day without sunshine is like, night.
It could also be, y'know, just a cloudy day.
A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife: "I wish you were here." The message received by wife: "I wish you were her."
A wife with near maturing pregnancy goes to railway station to return to her husband. At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket. Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue,she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as: "Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady."
It was the morning of Ralph's birthday and there was a knock on the door.
"Who is it?" Ralph asked.
"Telegram!" was the reply.
Enthusiastically, Ralph opened the door and asked the messenger boy,
"Is it a singing telegram?"
"No Sir. We don't do singing telegrams," the messenger replied.
"Oh, but I've always wanted to receive a singing telegram!" Ralph said. "Couldn't you just bend the rules a little and make an old man happy?"
"I'm sorry, sir, it wouldn't be appropriate, " replied the messenger.
"Please," Ralph pleaded, "After all, today is my birthday."
"OK, if you insist," the messenger said. He unfolded the telegram and began singing,
"Dah-dah-dah, dah-dah-dah, your sister Rose is dead..."
This is a list of the best "Out-of-Office" e-mail auto-replies.
- I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
- I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
- You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
- Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management.
- I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
- The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many people did this over and over).
- Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
- Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
- An I, D, I, O, T has occurred, please try later!
- Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
- I've run away to join a different circus.
- Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.
- I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as "Lollita" instead of "Steve"
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