The following is a joke memo posted by the time clocks at a factory my father used to work at. It was typed up on offical company paper and purported to be offical in every way. The person who did it was never caught but the company wanted to catch said person bad. Anyone turning said person in was offered 1 top of the line (item the factory was making) for free as a bonus.
From: Personnel Services
To: All Employees
Subject: Restroom Privileges
Date: FEB. 8, 1993
In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the restroom under informal guidelines. Effective FEBUARY 8, 1993, a Restroom Trip Policy (RTP) will be established to provide a consistent method of accounting for each employee's restroom time.
A "Restroom Trip Bank" will be established for each employee under this new policy. The first day of each month, employees will be given a Restroom Trip Credit of 20. Restroom Trip credits may be accumulated from month to month.
Within two weeks, the entrances to all restrooms are being equipped with Personnel Identification Stations and computer linked voice print recognition devices. Before the end of November, each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal and one under stress) to Personnel. The voice print recognition will be in operation, but not restrictive for the rest of the month; employees should acquaint themselves with these stations during that period.
If an employee's Restroom Trip Bank balance reaches zero, the doors to the restroom will not unlock for that employee's voice until the first of the month. In addition, all restroom stalls are being equipped with timed Paper Roll Retractors. If a stall is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty seconds after the alarm sounds, the roll of paper in the stall will retract, the toilet will flush, and the stall will open. If the stall remains occupied, your picture will be taken. The picture will then be posted in the hallway. This is being done to eliminate dillydallying in the restrooms. Anyone's picture showing up three times will be terminated immediately.
If you have any questions about the new policy, please see your supervisor.
In general, if you see glowing, pulsating things in the game, you should click on them.
- Demigod Game Ganual
E-102 Gamma wrote:Pffft. "Restrooms". More like enormous wastes of precious time and money. Why should we give our employees a means of wasting precious time and money?